this weekend has proven to be the most unproductive one thus far... of the year anyway. i feel like this is going to be a trend. bleh. but never fail, i still have stuff to bitch about. surprised? you shouldnt be. first thing is going to be about my baby daddy. this has been bugging me for a while. ok. so about two weeks ago, i get a call from the cman. he tells me that when he gets back from being a war hero, he wants more custody of boy and he isnt going to pay child support. if i need some help every once in a while, he can help, just not every month. he is too broke and cant afford to pay me. well how about a big fuck you. thats fine. then you can pay his medical bills, buy his clothes and pay for his childcare. then its a fuckin deal. so this angered me and made me want the worste for him. because naturally being the pushover that i am... i put it aside. well... friday night, his night to keep boy, he cant because he cant make arrangements for boy to be watched saturday during the day. so let me ask you this... if he cant handle the days he already has... what makes you think you can handle one more. so i get to spend all weekend with my lovely crazy child. im not complaining about this, being that boy is like the only man that i can say i wont want to murder. well.. most of the times anyway. but yea. i fucking cant stand him sometimes... hes gotton a lot btter.. but dont threatin my son against me because you have expensive taste. where the fuck is all of your money going? you make 2xs as much as i do andyou live at home. im not braggin, but i gross about 1400 a month. i pay for everything and i make it. there will be no pitty from this end.
second thing of the day. so. yesterday is a funny story. so two days ago, i was having a conversation with an old friend. thsi old friend may not be the best person,but i do admire his crazy motives and his ability to carry them out. so. we were discussing dickhead and cunt and his ex who is a co-owners of dickheads. so we talked for a while, and agreed we were better off without them and blah blah blah. well, i texted him yesterday and told him to behave and have a good day. i got a reply that says "to late. ive gone too far". so then i get on the reality website and see that my friend had busted out the from window/door at the tattoo shop that dickhead owns. sadly, this made me smile like i was a 13 year old boy seeing my first naked girl. you know its wrong, but it just feels sooo right. so i text dickhead and tell him how sorry i am, he then returns to me, and tells me he stole all of my friends tattoo equipment. boys will play games i suppose. hahah. but i am secretly excited to see how my friend will react to this. once again my grin leaks from the inside to a very visible outside smirk. its the small things in life that i know will fuck up his whole day.
so this brings us to my dream last night. i dreamt i was at the tattoo shop hangingout with my friends ex... mainly cause she is trying to piss him off by finishing his work on my leg. she puts this all over so i know he can read it. but anyway... back to my dream. i was at the shop, and after i was done, i had a show with a big audiance, i think i was lipsincing or something...which i have no real tallent, so it doesnt even make sense... but yea. so after everyone leaves, im cleaning up and its me and dickhead. we arent speaking to one another, but in comes cunt. she flips her shit. she starts accting crazy, and for the first time in a dream, i was actually able to hit someone. this to me is a sign, that maybe i am fed up and ready to start taking up for myself. so dickhead kicks me out and i text message him a great big fuck you. well.. when i woke up, i was checking my txts. apparently that last part was not a dream. which is good, cause i hope she saw it. i hope i stay in the back of her cunt infested brain forever. i hope she realizes that she will never be as good as me. ever. not a flying chance in hell. so that was my dream. nyquil and ambien keep me entertained, its like watching reality tv shows all night. i fuckin love it.
back to boy complications. my friend d came over and hung out last night. we made chilli and watched some tube. there was a short period where he was trying to cuddle... and i shot him down. im not sure whats going on with me, but i will tell you. i am not leading anyone on. idont cuddle with my girlfriends... there fore iwill not do it with my male friends. aint gonna happen. feelings hurt #2. im on a roll.
this week at the gym, i am going to start stop being such a panzy and stop being so intimidated by the giant juicers and add on weight lifting to my cardio. this is going to be the only sanity in my life. the gym that is. i have a photoshoot possibly in 3 months. i need to be tip top shape. totally. no questions asked. and i know this sounds sooo gay... but i was thinking if they turn out well, i may find a photographer in okc and sell some prints for a little extra money.
i guess im done for now. boy is being crazy. oh good sunday.
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